I am almost done with "Up Ghost River" by Edmund Metatawabin a residential school memoir - his website is avaliable here. This is not an easy book to read and I have cryed in parts. I feel like this book has helped me to understand another part of my history a little more clearly. When he talks about how he felt as he drank and why he drank it gave me another perspective on my grandfather and the other men in my life who drank. I really appreciate the honestly and bravery of this Elder to gift his story to us.
I am now towards the end of the book when he is begining his healing journey and describes the teachings of his group leader. I am also feeling a lot of those words for myself as I continue to work through my relationship with food and why I hurt myself by eating over and over again even when I know better. I never started drinking because I knew that was a slipperly slope for me, but food...
I liked this quote from the group leader Dennis LeRoy "The wemisikoshiw listen so they can gain advantage...you come here to listen to other people's Knowings. When you truly listen, your become more real." There is a lot of talk about listening in my job, but a lot of it does not feel authentic. I want to be a better listner in my relationships, but what are my true intentions with that? This is a teaching I will think on for some time.
Later the book quotes LeRoy again "...grass is the symbol of kindness on the medicine wheel. Because whenever it is cut, it always grows back. We have to embody that spirit of kindness torward ourrselves as we heal and remember that whenever we feel unloved or trampled on, if we are kind to ourselves, we will spring back."
LeRoy later talks about why they are talking about grass when trying to heal alcoholism "We use the natural things to remind ourselves of what is important in live, to understand what defines us as the indigenous people of Turtle Island."
There is a lot of story medicine in this book.
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