Tuesday, December 3, 2024

Changed the rules the very next year

When did it start?
Changed the rules
Very next year

Promised us power
Under stones
Magic incantations
Disrespect
Made superfluous.

There when the planes grounded
When the world stopped
When the greed
Strangling our people…

Geometric dangers
Akshoga* 
What to learn next?
Change the rules?

Indian Time
Surreal survivance
No start
No end.
There when….

Pehiw Wandering 24
* Grandmother in Mohawk

Didn’t seem much

I wanted nice
Simple
Logic
Didn’t seem much

I wanted to help
Make it better
Safe
Didn’t seem much

I wanted respects
Re-con-cilliation
Let ideas speak
Didn’t seem much

I wanted futures
Songs of truth
Seeds of hope
Didn’t seem much

But seams fray
Tattered rags
Made to “civilize”
Not-yet-corpses
Who keep wandering
Who keep wondering
Who refuse to nice.

NanaBjorn Wandering 24

Too dumb to see

Did it
As you set out
Too dumb to see
“Just enjoy the journey”
Really meant
-that’s all you get –

Never allowed to arrive
Unless scape goat needed.

Too dumb to understand
We measured productivity
Built our own chains
Believed the progress
Better to come
-just not for us!

Ghost ridden* 
Those stories
Heavy histories
Too dumb to see
Our existence here
Wounded with the roots of that**

NB W 24

* For some reason my brain almost always replaces gaslighting with ghost riding

** Beyonce and Jay-Z, IDRIS “American Gangster”

Killer with a calculator: Thinking about shame

Why shame so cheap?
Tried to find solutions
Left dem buildings
Left dem binaries
Set some fires
Ripped whole words
Reclaimed body
Rebuilt mind
But still #$*&@ * 

Why shame so heavy?
Tried to run
Tried to fight
Left some folks
Burned them bridges
Hid my tracks
Tested body.
But still #$*&@

Why shame?
Disciplined
Body
Mind
Spirit
But still #$*&@

Aberrant
Anachronistic residue** 
Made savage by modernity
Killer with a calculator
MacBeth
Sings same
Dream same.
still #$*&@

Always #$*&@?
But now
I know!

NanaBjorn Wandering 24

* Jay Z “Story of OJ”

** Rifkin - "Beyond Settler Time"

50 Cent

50 cent
Don’t buy much.
Can’t get work
Gotta take work.
Count yo money
Cause sometimes
21
Under cover 12

We stupid?
Temporal guardians
Gangster orators
O L D school
Economics masterclass?

No MBA
Just glad I aint MIA

Can’t get it to work?
Gotta make it work.
Vandals stole the handles?

Roll up your sleeves
All the hows
Whys
Songs of burdens share.
I text
“Medicines lit”
Fired mine
With the love of circles
Uncomfortable truths.

90 proof. Dip our arrows.
50 cent
Don’t buy much
Can’t get respect
Gotta take respect.
Counting my wealth
But I aint done yet.

Nanabjorn Wandering 24

- Nia’wen to 50 Cent, Bob Dylan, Kayne West, Mark Rifkin, Charles Eastman and the Indigenous holders of our knowledges.

Notes on Rifkin: responding experientially

As part of my explorations of the space of experiential research and policy making I am trying different experiential and creative ways to respond to academic text. These poems and the summation text before form my response to ""Beyond Settler Time: Temporal Sovereignty and Indigenous Self-Determination" by Mark Rifkin.

I think that the language and subject of this book made it work well for a response in poem/rap. I listened to a lot of rap over this time and that multi-layered discussions of race, economics and hope also influenced my response to this text. This book gave words to so many things I could not yet name. He wove threads through time, traditional teachings and the thoughts of some very gifted thinkers from our Nations. I read it  "Accounting for Genocide: Canada’s Bureaucratic Assault on Aboriginal People"(by Dean Neu and Richard Therrien) in mind - how these alignments to Hat* time are weapons against us as peoples - holding us in stasis.

We need to reclaim our temporal sovereignty and we do it by practicing - like we did in the Bear spaces - as we gather, make decisions together and solidify our relationality. We are connected peoples and we are temporally sovereign when we live our ways. When we find new/old ways where we live now! 

This experiential engagement with a text feels free - not a summary, but a wholeness. I am interested to learn from other if this is a useful way of fast info transfer or just pretentious bullshit. Let me know what you think. Aho Data Bear.

Addendum: Matt Christman of "Chappo Trap House" a great thinker of our time, who has been quiet for a year after complex health challenges has made his return to public with poetry

List of poems

*Hat in this context is a term for the settler ideas about governance, economics and time and so forth.

Coda: Deferences: responding to Rifkin

 As part of my explorations of the space of experiential research and policy making I trying different ways to respond to academic text. This poem is part of a series that is responding to ""Beyond Settler Time: Temporal Sovereignty and Indigenous Self-Determination" by Mark Rifkin.

Coda: Deferences: responding to Rifkin

Missing collectivities
we mirror
skeleton economics* pg 182
Afraid.

Temporal tongues
demand audience
geography be DAMNED!
Gathering is survivance

Else
[worn out
detextured
circle deformed into cog]

So light medicines
learn silences

[shame
sha me
has me
ash me
a mesh
she ma
Not my letters
not my words
A "normal" without tommorrow]

So light medicines
and learn silences.

Data Bear Gathering 24

* pg 182

Prophetic temporality: Responding to Rifkin – Chp 3

 As part of my explorations of the space of experiential research and policy making I trying different ways to respond to academic text. This poem is part of a series that is responding to ""Beyond Settler Time: Temporal Sovereignty and Indigenous Self-Determination" by Mark Rifkin.

Prophetic temporality: Responding to Rifkin – Chp 3 

Prophetic temporality
Persistent possibility
Sumac red
Don’t need chains
When roots work too.
S      I      L     E      N      C      E
Retexture possibilities
With hopes and continuities
Take up
Unfinished stories.
No longer
Economic migrants
In our own lands
“Rationalism”
Poisens failed.
Return immune
Regenerated
Gardens
Seeds
Visions
Witnessing
Lived knowing
Reconciled to now.

Nana Bjorn Gathering 24

Growing in the ditches of greed: Responding to Rifkin – Chp 3

As part of my explorations of the space of experiential research and policy making I trying different ways to respond to academic text. This poem is part of a series that is responding to ""Beyond Settler Time: Temporal Sovereignty and Indigenous Self-Determination" by Mark Rifkin.

Growing in the ditches of greed: Responding to Rifkin – Chp 3

Duration Dense
Perversity
Existence
Persistence
Economic stasis* 

“Trust us”
Permanent record
-anomaly-
Failed “to develop”
Cause I aint no dry snitch

Silence
Ground deep
Emotional truth
Snotty nose
Strategy stories

Tongues
Reckon with possible paths
Mathematical necessity
Temporally sovereign
When we live OUR ways
Sense make
Together
Discern
Red paths
Faint
In days of pain.

"Disabled”
Stretched
By multiplicities
Cheeze grater world
Blooded –
No finger prints
Horizon dancer
Body a garden
Growing in the ditches of greed.

Data Bear Gathering 24 – as the skies darken for a storm that was intense and brought clouds only seen a few times before.

* pg 100 “Not yet doing something”

Friday, November 29, 2024

“Duration of the Land”

 As part of my explorations of the space of experiential research and policy making I trying different ways to respond to academic text. This poem is part of a series that is responding to ""Beyond Settler Time: Temporal Sovereignty and Indigenous Self-Determination" by Mark Rifkin.

“Duration of the Land”: Chp 2 

“Stained by colonialism” *
Dirty rags
On bodies that remember
Who transverse stars
But breathe

The lands that sustain
The time of rocks
The wisdom of rivers

Held immobile

Cause they can’t see
When we skim waves
Here/there/tomorrow
Inheritances/relations

All the same water.

Nipon Kona W 24

* Pg 75 Dale Turner

A little bit human

 As part of my explorations of the space of experiential research and policy making I trying different ways to respond to academic text. This poem is part of a series that is responding to ""Beyond Settler Time: Temporal Sovereignty and Indigenous Self-Determination" by Mark Rifkin.

A little bit human – Reference to Rifkin pg 38

Winnowed
Hundreds
Human sacrifices.
Warriors
Denied a “war”
By pen
By tongue
By design
Lincon
Personally
Choose
Fast death
Or slow?
A little bit human
When it suited.

Nipon Kona W 24

Reading Rifkin: Begins

As part of my explorations of the space of experiential research and policy making I trying different ways to respond to academic text. This poem is part of a series that is responding to ""Beyond Settler Time: Temporal Sovereignty and Indigenous Self-Determination" by Mark Rifkin.

Reading Rifkin: Begins

Consternation?
Temporal aberration?
Quotidian tales
Float in silence
Healing cacophony
Doing it our way
Dreamed pathways
Making room
Ancestors join
Sink
Sync
Ghost ridden
Haunted skins
Lost it all
-Only savage left –
False neutralities
That pretend raw
Is “the modern way”

Gangster Granny
Ladders don’t get you high!
Temporal indignities?
All them layers!
You gotta count
But I know.

Temporal Drag Queen
Hybrid monster
Teller of un-intentional truths
“Survivance is our time”

NB W 24

What you gonna do?

What you gonna do?
everything you chased...
Eagles* said it better,
poet warriors

-Arise-

we aint got time
pens of fire
golden voiced cousins
come close
time to polish
songs from dreams
prophesies in bones
truths in ink

"We may lose we may win"*
be by again
and again.

What you gonna do?
Everything you chased....
collateralized risk instruments,
models fantasy
in perfect detail

Potemkin show girl fantasy
sand castles
can't house soldiers
can't feed slaves
can't sell lies.

What you gonna do?
everything you chased
between your fingers
between your breathes
right in them questions

NanaBjorn Wandering 24

* Eagle lyric to "take it easy"


On Wendybah's birthday

We are star people
made of stuff
Dolly sewn by Wendy. Accessorized by Elizabeth
left overs
you stitched
with steady hands
cause you know.

The thread pulled tight
transforms.

Your vision
visits the unborn
celebrated in circle
passed
To Grandmothers
Leaders
doers
thinkers
makers
transformers
like rainbow bridge

Your last gifts
stiches to add
gardens to cherish
leftovers
to give new live.

Nipon Kona Wandering 24



Tuesday, July 16, 2024

Bear Pin Journey

 

First Bear Pin


When I was given the challenge of "making the Bear real" with a team, I needed to think about how as a team we could center certain key perspectives while in action? This includes key concepts to Indigenous methodologies such opening spaces in the circle for other voices and ideas such as 7 generations which we thought were important to hold close as a team. We tried a couple of different approaches including a Bear Team Tracker where we identified common goals we were working towards and shared progress regularly.

However, when it came time to assess my team on their yearly deliverables, the structures of the government review process were not adequate to capture the journey of my team and the growth of the individuals. We needed another way to acknowledge the growth of the folks in the circle and the roles they were given by the Elders. I began researching but many of the recognitions of this kind are military focused (although there are much older civil servant examples with lots of nice hats). It was also important that this symbolic representation be respectful to the different Nations we come from and their symbolic practice. I wanted something folks could wear with their regalia should they wish.
 
One night my child was watching videos about nuclear submarines by Smarter Everyday. While far outside of my normal interests I was hooked. Since these ships go dark for many months everything onboard is meticulously planned and considered. One thing that stood out to me was the cross training. Like a SEAL team, every member has a specialty but is also trained in all other roles. This is an important part of your time on the ship and at the end the sailors are awarded a dolphin pin. While the military link was uncomfortable, the more I thought about it, and the way the civil service is based on the military model, I started thinking about a bear pin.

After speaking with the team I decided to move forward with this idea. But the pin to use was obvious to me. The story behind the pin. I though the question of my child "why does that fish have a bear on it's bum?" was really a good symbol of the work we were trying to do to shift our perspectives. To honor the role of this story it was also included in one of the modern teaching stories about economy that I am working on.

Each pin is unique for the person and includes a marker of their years. For example with this first pin
  • The person was identified as our "Circle Keeper" which is represented with the red circle
  • In recognition of the time served, wood leaf =2021, snail = 2022
  • Colors are chosen based on the color preferences of the individual and times I spend with the Medicines during creation. I try to work on part of the pin in another Bear Ceremony.
  • Bear is in motion and connected to the water
These Bear pins are awarded in the Bear Circle with the guidance of the Elder. In the time since we awarded the first Bear Pin I have been surprised to see how this practice has rippled and further enriched our practices. For example, after a year of learning with the Bear we found that we wanted to align ourselves to the rhythms around us.  As a result we introduced the Bear calendar to try to be more aware of the seasons and how they impact us, our communities and all our relations.  This included some different Bear Pin activities to recognize the hibernation time.

Sock monkeys, Zizek and sore behinds - Draft Chapter 9

This is the last story this old Bear can write. It has been quite a journey – re-remembering, learning and navigating stories. Bear was privileged to carry the tongue and pen this far. Bear can’t wait to see what the new ones will add to the Bear’s stories.

This journey has been a lots of learning. What makes a good story? Is it a body leaned in close? A voice turned whisper? A teaching that worms around your mind and heart for years? Something that stays with you long after the fire is ash?

Well, over some years, this Bear has been able to learn and grow with bear cubs. A long ago Grandmother had sewn a Sock Monkey. This Sock Monkey lived an active life in our cave, keeping the dolly antics under control, wearing many hats, fighting off inquisitive beagles and teasing jealous felines.  One day, the whole bear family was out at the market when our little cub gave a terrible cry. Following their paw, we turned to find a nearby shop wall was covered in the skins of the sock monkeys! Worse, the sock monkeys had been sewn into socks and hats for the two leggeds! Being sold without any proper respects! Well now…many cubs tears fell for those lost monkeys! Even today the diagram above is easy to find on the internet. It shows how sock monkeys can be dissected and sewn together to cover the human foot.

That little cub had got a lot of knowledges eh?

So we tried school. It is what they tell us the cubs need. It didn’t work out so good, but we first started wondering in kindergarten when we opened our cub’s little backpack to find it full of books on agricultural economics, postmodern thinkers and philosophers! That little cub consumed these texts with a passionate intensity. She read them upside down, inside out and backwards – with the cold eyes of innocence. Somedays Dolly was Arendt and Teddy was Eichmann. They usually met for tea and it was all very polite. But watching our cub live out their learnings gave this Data Bear confidence as some texts don’t wield to the conventions of reading them right side up!

That little cub had got a lot of knowledges eh?

Little Bear loves the shiny and sorts my treasures. Their eyes land on the pin with a Bear and Fish[1]. “Mama, why does that fish have a bear on its butt?”

Well, there’s nothing to add - that’s the best story I ever learned from. Ho.


[1] Reference that this pin in the inspiration for the “Bear Pin”?

Monday, July 15, 2024

Finding community: the Kumik National Lodge on Algonquin lands

I first came to Kumik 15 years ago.  I knew that my family was Métis but that had little relevance to my life.  I don’t remember the Elder but the story they shared that day became an important part of my life philosophy and teachings for my children.

About ten years ago, as a result of a conversation with an Elder brought in by IRCC (from Kumik), I made the decision to fully acknowledge my Indigenous heritage.  I had long held back for this step thinking that as I got where I was with white skin privilege and didn’t have any cultural knowledge that I should not identify as Indigenous.  That Elder gave me the teachings and stories I needed to start my internal decolonization work.  As a result I learned about my family, our traditions and started learning Cree.

As there was no downtown lodge, whenever I could, I would get a taxi and cross the river to the Kumik.  I started meeting Elders occasionally for one on ones which filled my bundle and gave me a chance to learn about ceremony, protocol, teachings and stories.  Sometimes I brought my children and we attended many of the workshops making drums and other items that we still use.  This time allowed me to come into community, ask questions and learn with the Elders.  

This knowledge helped me to raise my children with good teachings in a healthy Indigenous way.  This was possible because of the welcoming environment for those of us who don’t have teachings or language or connection.  The Elders and people I met did not care if I was Indigenous enough, only that I was open to learning in a good way.  This community opened up other Indigenous resources to access. 

As a result of this growth, my child and I were at the closing ceremony for the Truth and Reconciliation Commission.  My child was brought forward to represent the future generations.  Through the Kumik and related community, this child knows their Métis heritage and the good red road, they were there that day and carries those stories and the promises made into the future.

This regular contact with Kumik and the lack of progress on Indigenous issues at my previous department were key considerations in my decision to move to ISC as a senior analyst.  I was delighted to have full access to Kumik, the Elders and other community members.  My manager was supportive of attending Kumik and my proposal that we apply Indigenous Methodologies to a policy paper I was working on.  I was able to even contemplate that work because I knew I could access Elders as needed though the one on ones at Kumik.

The first year of the project I met with many Elders, Grandfathers who tested me, Grandmothers who encouraged me and community that inspired me.  Elder Barb Brant, Mohawk, Turtle Clan agreed to work with us on this work and this resulted in the paper “Daring to Meet the Bear”.  During this time I learned about Knowledge bundles and created one for this project to capture the teachings and share stories.  On the guidance of Elders I ask for a spirit name.  I undertook that process and learned and listened and realized how little I know.  Through Kumik I kept learning, attending ceremony and experienced the amazing support of doing policy and research with the support of the Elder.  The Kumik also supported my student who went on his own identity journey during his time with us.  Elder Barb with there for both of us and always patient with our questions.

The second year, after getting our bearings in COVID, the ability to access Kumik was an important coping mechanism and way to stay in community.  Working with Kumik we brought Elder Solomon Wawatie (Anishnabek) in for one on ones and team supports.  Given that Kumik was not offering one on ones during this time we were very glad to continue to have an Elder to support our work and people.  In the third year, Elder Barb rejoined us (She never left really continuing to support us by phone and text).  At this time I had been newly named manager with a mandate to apply Indigenous Methodologies to data and analytics.  My team and I were  blessed to be able to access the Kumik and Elders as we figured out how to do things from this lens.  We learnt with others in the community and supported each other through that challenging year.

We are now in our sixth year of practically applying Indigenous methodologies and I am humbled by all the things I have learnt and the journeys our team has taken. We work closely with a team applying Indigenous Methodologies to evaluations for the first time in our context. We have worked with teams in HR, procurement, planning and reporting and innovation. We will continue to find new ways to apply that Indigenous lens.  We will continue to have firsts – such an interview panel where everyone was Indigenous.  All this does not even touch on the person growth I have experienced from working with the Elders and being part of Kumik.

Kumik has been an important part of my personal growth and family life, while also supporting me and team to apply Indigenous methodologies to all our work. 

Ninanaskomowin for listening to my story.  EM (Pehiw – She who is in waiting and Nipon Kona (Summer Snow)

Friday, July 12, 2024

Misi-Maskwa: The Great Stiff Jointed Man Eating Hairless Bear -Draft Chapter 8

Misi-MaskwaThe Great Stiff Jointed Man Eating Hairless Bear – Institutions, Measurement and schools – 1920-1970ish

In those days the balance was lost and the Misi-Maskwa[1] the great stiff jointed hairless Bear roamed Turtle Island far from their usual northern lands. Ever hungry, Misi-Maskwa would stride up and down, back and forth, to the big waters in every direction looking for food. Their heavy steps reverberated on Turtle’s shell. They tore off mountains tops to dip in salty oceans. They mixed up terrible stews – fishes, ferns and even folk. Some days they tore off bits sky dripping in sunshine to slurp up. The noises were unbearable.

Word of this destruction and terror spread quickly. Some looked to hide in caves and condos. Some declared certain songs the trouble and came for tongues.  Some said Bear was angry because Bear was hungry and we should give it more food. Some listened to the Old ones and prepared. They witnessed and walked with the medicines. They went to schools that weren’t outside! They practiced their songs and told their truths. Still other folks went on TV to help us better understand. “Misi-Maskwa is not all bad! Look at their work ethic. Consider their productivity! 42 mountains are now easier to climb! There is 14.832 percent less sky to pay attention too! Complaints about Giant Squirrels are way down!”

Year after year Misi-Maskwa’s hungry rampage continued. Until there was only one mountain left without teeth imprints or scratch marks. You probably remember that newscast too! Steady serious voices called to us, “Volunteers needed to protect this last mountain from the massive paws of terrible destruction.” My cousins and I packed our things that night.

It was many moons to  arrive at that last mountain. We joined campfires made of many peoples from all the circles of all the lands.

As is our custom, the Grandparents guided our strategy and organization as they well know the skills strengths of each person. We gathered weapons. We sharpened minds. We rested. Until the day the Old ones sent out songs inviting Misi-Maskwa to the fire to find a less destructive way to fill Bear’s belly.

After a long while, behind the drums of the old songs, we heard the heavy footsteps of Misi-Maskwa. The TV people told us to stop druming so they could get better coverage of the massive Bear - LIVE. When the songs continued, some got angry and pulled drums from our arms and threw drum sticks to the grasses. “This is history – the people deserve to see the truth – hear the truth -without your noise.” They would not listen to the advice of the Grandparents.

The end of the songs and the sounds of folks fighting got Misi-Maskwa, who was always hangry anyway, into a great rage. The TV people shone their light up into Bears eyes. Now blinded it ran confused into the great crowd of people.  Each enormous paw left destruction. My cousins and I observed and grieved, we held steady, ready to track Misi-Maskwa once its belly was filled and it slowed.

My cousins, we were trackers and workers of medicines and energies who always found what they searched for – no matter how long it took. Each knew their job. Each knew when it was time to chase and time to disguise. So as moons came and went the cousins followed Misi-Maskwa up and down ruined mountains, through valley’s of monster stews. Sometimes we could see it’s terrible sharp teeth, furless flesh or a flash of claw through the green things. We felt fear and hunger and fatigue but still we followed, up and down and up. Followed up until we were higher than we had even gone. Until we were almost close enough to touch the tail of the great beast. Using hand talk, so Misi-Maskwa would not know their plans, we cousins separated to get ready.

Each cousin moved stealthily - forming a circle around Misi-Maskwa. As we waited for Grandfather Sun to arise and signal the moment of resolution, we each worked our medicines. From the East a cousin lit Semah and Misi-Maskwa turned to see the source of the aroma. As the smoke circled Bear’s eyes were blinded by the rapidly rising sun. From the South another cousin lit their medicines. These wafted around Bear, calming their anger until they lay down on the earth. From the East, my cousin lit medicines to help open Misi-Maskwa’s heart. Finally from the North, my cousin raised their medicines and songs so that Misi-Maskwa could see how its hunger was hurting Turtle and everyone who lived on Turtle’s back. “There is enough Misi-Maskwa. Enough for everyone when we come together as equal.” All day, the cousin voices blended in great strength and sent healing to that ever hungry tummy so it could know enough.

Eventually our songs got tired and we fell into slumber. When we awoke it was night, and when we looked around to see that we had chased Bear into the sky just below the stars. And where that enormous Bear body had lain in rest were twinkling stars. So now you know and if you can see, on clear nights, you can observe Misi-Maskwa above us. A reminder of hard journeys, using our gifts and the power of cousins. Ho


[1][1] Cree

A moment with Baby and dog

 

A moment with Baby and dog: Data Bear

As part of my thinking on experiential policy I tried to think through the life of a mother on the move. I was inspired by watching many episodes of "Time Team": a show where they have three days to understand the history of a place. They would often try to recreate a relevant historical food, feelings and experience to understand and connect to these ancestors.

This is the Wiki overview of experimental archeology Experimental archaeology - Wikipedia. Over the past 10 years this kind of practical physical inquiry has spread to other disciplines. I think this is an important element underpinning the Bear work - from the early days we had the teachings of Elder Solomon Wawatie (Anishnabe) that the answers would be found in doing the thing. Bear has returned many times to that teaching over the past years. Elder Barb Brant (Mohawk) also embodies this teaching in how she shares and guides this work

More recently I have noticed that many younger makers on youtube are contributing in this space, recreating things from available information, sharing their thinking about it and how to do it better, and sharing their learning with others. There are a number of really thoughtful folks working in this area –  but this was the first video that really pulled this approach all together for me Make it Goth(ic). Sewing a gown based on modern, vintage, and historical ideas of the gothic. - YouTube . It is active and practical engagement with the past(s), to learn in the present for the future.

Through the act of creating this piece I was able to see the home, ask new questions and better understand the historical descriptions I was reading. Nia'wen to all our Grandmothers for all their hard work to keep homes and communities safe. I will write up some of my other efforts to explore this area from a policy perspective soon, but overall I think this has the potential to be a fruitful area of inquiry especially in areas where written records are limited and/or obviously biased.

Mother is just out of frame but baby is safe as Mouse Woman watches from the grass. She is a respected Grandmother from traditional Haida stories who watches over children. I highly recommend these stories if you have young ones around. "Mouse Woman and the Vanished Princesses"

Monday, July 8, 2024

Rescue from the Rougarour: Draft Chapter 7

Trouble with a Rougarou, unless you meet them in the light you might not notice what they are – not at first. At most, they might seem a little off. Maybe they are having a bad day or carry a heavy burden - so you give them a pass. Maybe they seem like the stories of the Old Ones. Maybe you just got other things heavy on your mind.

But one day, you gotta take a path late at night, maybe it is a known path so you hurry, footsteps sure, without a worry. Maybe it is a new path, winding high into a mountain, so you tread careful – your lamp held high to guide your way. Doesn’t matter which.

One moment, late at night, you think you hear a cry ahead. A hurt animal or child? Doesn’t matter whom.

We are wired to stop, to offer care. And for one moment you forget the teachings to remain vigilant around the Rougarou. Doesn’t matter why.

But you are then transfixed in the glowing grotesque beauty eyes of temptation. How easy the Rougarou can infect with their endless hungers. Under dark skies, they catch your eyes, lighting fires for more. Kindling coals better left to slumber…

It even happened to us. One day we was out wandering. Following trails. Gathering knowledges. It was a glorious day – the sun strong and the wind gentle. Caught in the thrill of the moment we stayed out too late tracking a clever little Thinker that was eluding us. We followed the Thinker to a river where they hid their scent in the water. The trail was lost. As we reset our thoughts for the home journey, our heart replaying the thrill of the chase, we failed to watch for night dangers.

Hearing a cry, we thought the Thinker had stumbled and our moment of capture was near. So we softened our footfalls and proceeded ever so slowly. Our ears pricked as we heard a whimpering of pain…a little quicker we proceeded towards the sound. Around a small bush was an even smaller ball of fur. We reached out a paw, but the shivering relation curled up even tighter with a moan. Surely this small hurt creature could pose any danger to a grown bear we moved our nose closer to smell for the injury. Nostrils flaring, we took one sniff, two sniffs….. the count fell silent as we tasted our own blood dripping down our snout.  Following the river of red, the creature across from us licks its lips and we drown in those flame eyes …

It was many many days later that we awoke to the Grandmothers circled around. I felt my fur for injury to find that our left ear was bandaged.  That is the only way eh? To draw out the Rougarou spirit eh? You gotta cut that person’s ear with sharp good metal and then let it heal with the medicines. Well we was real lucky, cause our folks knew just what to do. They knew the plants to gather and where to find them. They knew where and how to make the needed cut. But most of all, they recognized what made those claw marks across our face. They understood right away what the ravings to maximize profits and rants to minimize risk exposures through collateralized debt instruments meant. Just lucky you know. But been hearing more and more stories about how luck can be a fickle friend. Ho.


[1] Story Based On Rougarou Story In “Stories Of Our People/Lii Zistwayr Di La Naasyoon Di Michif Serieshttps://gdins.org/product/stories-of-our-people/

Wednesday, June 26, 2024

A song of becoming : A dance with Transit of Empire 2

Never gonna
SAY
more better
mind
or-gas-ims
page 195*
Those words
mathmusic.
Then
a bag
of petals.
Paid in beauty?
(We are making medicines)
Training vines
to grow together
Shelter
Tables
for feasts
yet to come.

You are precision.
Rooted.
Me -
Petal Dancer.
[But nevermind]

What songs accompany your days?*
We shall find a harmony
a song of circle
a song of harvest
a song of becoming,
shared in the lessons of leaves,
petals
and roots.

Pehiw Wandering 2024

 *Jodi A. Byrd "The Transit of Empire: Indigenous Critiques of Colonialism
 pg 225"

You ded yet? : A dance with Transit of Empire 1

Sunday morning
Wandering,
Worrying.
You ded yet?
hate the game
hate the players
hate the board/bored.
Sharpened my strategy,
took advice,
Wind counselled,
follow the fractures,
gently push
hands
overlain
Ancestors deep,
gotta listen
(...............)
They built the camps
right on our bodies!
Economies of poison,
rivers of deceit,
Well....
Dams fracture
Zombie Imperialism*
got me feeling
homer sacer
"Play it again Sam."
Can't bare to remember
Can't ever forget
Complicity.
- Thought it was normal - 
Black and white
Ballets with shame
Locked up.
In between
Can't do more days
Gotta stop forgetting
Tattered tongued
I spoke my truth
Bags of petals
porch visits
community
stitches
in wounds
long left gaping
medicines
teachings
care
soothe
butterfly gentle
Willow seed
Snow in June
soft
Spring gangster
digging toes
deep
living a broken
birthed a shadow sibling
transmute
soil sisters
transmit
drum beat truths
- it don't matter - 
dead or alive
shroud
be thy bedclothes
you will it so/sew.
I have grieved long
your grave
will have no tears
for I am too far
to return
to lands
long ago flooded
with silent tears.

Pehiw Wandering 2024

 *Jodi A. Byrd "The Transit of Empire: Indigenous Critiques of Colonialism
 pg 225"

From gates to keepers

Métis stuff?
Is my blood red?
We got to self harm
to check that truth?
We all mixed up.
It was always so.
Old Ones
Taught better,
Helped us learn,
Build us up, 
Brought together.

What culture?
Is my blood red?
We got to hold heart
to check that truth?
We all scar(r)ed,
Infected dollars,
Rounds for everyone,
Shots
- whether you want -
Many hands raise your glass.
Brought together.

Bear Story?
Is my blood red?
We got to monitor monthly
to check that truth?
We all living,
what else to do,
Till visions,
Traded
garden to garden,
soil to worm,
from gates to keepers.

Pehiw Preparing 24

Economies of Butterflies

Mother Bear
from first principals
reborn from ink
floated to safety
tears raised me up
marked
an always thing

wove
little and BIGS
one week.
Traded butterflies
for stories.
Rose petals
a bit of hope.
Saw truths spoke
honoured
danced.

"We were giving,
that's how
we kept
what we gave away."*

Pehiw Preparing 24

To D my little neighbor and A a bigger neighbor.
*Neil Young "Comes at a Time"

Tuesday, June 25, 2024

Dear Joe

Dear Joe*
been learning
old wars
new harms.
genocide again?
I been / to some.
Gulags
"Well now / you know"
old wisdoms
new ears
old mirrors
new stories
snakes
given ladders
- shrug -
locked up?
Lived it. 
Another Joe,
was first
Perhaps fortold
these days?
sky orator
practicing
until voices
found?
spread thighs
over roofs
ashed skin
YOU BROKE!

Far.
Closer to home.
Inside.
Plague came
other horsemen
(don't waltz)
- gasp _
"we forgot"
seashells whisper
"lies!"
Eyes fail
cave delights
consumed us.
(Got
gangsta granny
goals)**
That corner?
gotta 
fill pockets
so(w) seeds
be ready.

Pehiw Preparing 24
*To all the Joes I have known
** To Rita of Guigues Street who showed us how to hold our spaces.

Tuesday, June 4, 2024

Can't go home no more

Went home.
Weren't ma mountains 
anymore.
The ocean
welcomed visitor,
gifted treasures
I fly to kin.
 
Here/hear teacher.
A shell
that whispered 
time for your hand.

Sand that cried,
"Thank fuck"
for loves 
that can be
more than
"They never hit me."

I tried to hug you.
Learned how.
But your body
only sees threat.
Made a 
Žižek joke.

-Akward-

So much sad
stones
and bones
groaned. 

Saw 10 crows
on dead tree
30 feet high
kin around
felt Matriarchy
patchworks
stitched
in misty waterways
paddles while children slumbered
All your hope!
All your love!

Fabric
of hues
only little ones see.
Backed
to Grandfather's cloth
once stretched 
cross backs
carrying the burdens
they invented the blues for.

Music
rhythm
algorithm
creates
separation
desperate in-hale
afore....
wave returns.

Can't go home no more
But been building new gardens
sharing seeds
celebrating better loves.

Pehiw Preparing 24

Desk Killers

 How do you write about books that dance in your mind? Books that make your stomach turn? Truths you could have known – except we are trained not to see it – not to ask THOSE questions. I confess. I am a Desk Killer! I hoped to warrior with honor, weapons of logic, data, systems – I learned them all. Learned the rules. Learned they are lies. Learned the lies (oh the hubris!) Learned words I stamped in skin – STRUGGLE or else what? Let the chaos take us? Dying fast or slow? Either way gets the job done. The numbers don’t Lie! Which kills show on my tally sheet? No scalps in honor. I count no coup. Witigo – a shrapnel – from Shakespeare to wounds that don’t heal…. Can’t even use a lighter….CLICK – trench reflex. Must hide flame.

I was born to this war. I stamped words in skin. “The cake is a lie.”

Didn’t mean what I thought it did. Wasn’t said by the “person” I thought. But that’s my life story. And the words aren’t false.

We fight over a bigger pieces of the pie* and forget to ask if we want pie or if we could make something that could feed everyone around the table. So…I also got hope etched, words of Matriarchs and stories from times before/to come. Colors applied to disguise, to signal what we already knew – unblooded – so I need the needles and sacred black from fires merged with my skin. We are their stories. We cannot forget.

Data Bear (Mama Bear Energies) Preparing 24

*This is a teaching from Winnona LaDuke (Dakota) who is also an economist.

Monday, June 3, 2024

Dancing with "The Transit of Empire"

Reading a book*.
"Cacophony"
like fine jazz
you win me over
who is grievable?**
who is overwritten?
Who is timeless - 
held binary?
Who is sacrificed -
to lines and shames?
Who wears
what scars?
What songs
silenced?
Reading a book
feels like coming home.
"homer sacer"***
sings so sweet
deep tones
clarinet
tells how
THEORY FAILS
rigid bodies
unable to flex
not like melodies
relived by many
sung in memory
of each circle
that was
and shall be.
Aho,

Pehiw Preparing 24
* "The transit of Empire" by Jodi A Byrd (Chickasaw)
** Judith Butler "Precarious Life: The Powers of Mourning and Violence"
***Giorgio Agamben  "Homo Sacer: Sovereign Power and Bare Life"

What you gonna do?

What you gonna do
when they come for your liver?
Sure better hope
you got arrows in your quiver.
What you gonna do
when they come for your pen?
Did it once
might do it again.
What you gonna do
when they come for your soul?
Give a little bit
or keep it whole?
What you gonna do
when they come for your time?
Take that money
see how far allowed to climb?
What you gonna go
when they come for your sleep?
gonna say quiet
or stand and speak?

Akihcikewin Maskwa (Data Bear) Preparing 2024
Dedicated to cousins and Aunties who speak their truths

Friday, May 17, 2024

On the violence of forgetting

Aphasia
steals my nouns
ordinary things
like carrots (rebranded calculator)
Never thought
to check sofa cracks
history's leavings
things re-seen
unseen
unsayable
In uncertain palm
Truth had deep roots.
We can have no futures
built on the violences of forgetting

Pehiw Awakening 24