Tuesday, June 4, 2024

Desk Killers

 How do you write about books that dance in your mind? Books that make your stomach turn? Truths you could have known – except we are trained not to see it – not to ask THOSE questions. I confess. I am a Desk Killer! I hoped to warrior with honor, weapons of logic, data, systems – I learned them all. Learned the rules. Learned they are lies. Learned the lies (oh the hubris!) Learned words I stamped in skin – STRUGGLE or else what? Let the chaos take us? Dying fast or slow? Either way gets the job done. The numbers don’t Lie! Which kills show on my tally sheet? No scalps in honor. I count no coup. Witigo – a shrapnel – from Shakespeare to wounds that don’t heal…. Can’t even use a lighter….CLICK – trench reflex. Must hide flame.

I was born to this war. I stamped words in skin. “The cake is a lie.”

Didn’t mean what I thought it did. Wasn’t said by the “person” I thought. But that’s my life story. And the words aren’t false.

We fight over a bigger pieces of the pie* and forget to ask if we want pie or if we could make something that could feed everyone around the table. So…I also got hope etched, words of Matriarchs and stories from times before/to come. Colors applied to disguise, to signal what we already knew – unblooded – so I need the needles and sacred black from fires merged with my skin. We are their stories. We cannot forget.

Data Bear (Mama Bear Energies) Preparing 24

*This is a teaching from Winnona LaDuke (Dakota) who is also an economist.

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