Still feeling pretty down. A lot to think about but I don't feel very intelligent about anything. I did get some time to read âpihtawikosisân who has a good overview of what the Daniel's decision means, why relocation is not the answer and solutions to the "indian problem" which not as hard to find as one might think.
We had a team retreat last week to talk about failure. It went well and I really enjoyed the session. I decided not to facilitate, but to share that role across the team. That worked well. I told a Nanabush story, the one where he ends up setting his bottom on fire, as an introduction to thinking about failure. People really like that story. However, this session made me think about my desire to succeed and that maybe it is time for me to stop thinking about that and to consider my role in helping others to succeed.
This message has been coming through to me for a while now and the achievement of two long term goals in the past month has left me thinking about whether it was worth it and what I want to do now. In my career, I am at the top level of analysts, so I can either keep moving around at this level or move into management. I am really ambivalent about that decision. I make more that enough money and I like being an analyst but I am getting bored and I don't feel like I am contributing as much as I could. One Elder told me not to worry about that and to give what is needed and keep the rest for other things. I am still thinking that through. Maybe the arrival of spring will help.