I have been having a hard time writing. Maybe the summer pull to be lazy or my own moroseness. I have been struggling about some things at work, about my role, my level of commitment and how my values fit into this picture. In particular I am struggling with my values of loyalty. It is very much a world where you look out for you. I find this hard and not really an adequate reflection of reality. People looks out for theirs and when and how you might fit into this is not always clear.
Loyalty is core to me. I don't want to only look out for myself, but I want to participate in making a community better. I don't come to work to get paid only. I come to provide value and service to those around me. I keep getting told that this is old fashion and out of touch. I need to focus on me. That feels wrong. I am a Métis person. Loyalty is a real thing that is very important in my family and community. We need to look out for and support one another, this isn't a flaw.
Have any of you come across this issue? Did you find a solution? If so, share your thoughts in the comments below.
We also had a situation where a more senior person was very openly rude regarding the work of our team. As I am acting manager this week, I needed to play a different kind of role in responding to this situation, helping people calm down and move forward on our work. This incident and the response reminded me to head over to the Kumik Lodge for teachings. The Elder was Jane Ann Chartrand and she shared some stories and teachings. It was so good to be in the lodge and have a smudge. I took away the lesson of continuing to strive even when something is hard as those little bits of work will add up over time.