Can't write so good

I am a dyslexic.  You probably noticed already.  I was told I was retarded by the school system.  I left the regular class to go for reading help in the ro

om with the mentally delayed.  Everyone knew that.

Today I have a Master Degree in Economics and it was not until I was working as a Senior Consultant writing and analyzing documents for Cabinet that I ever felt smart.

I write for a living now and I am really blessed by spell check.  However I also feel frustrated sometimes with the lack of real flow when I write and every line has a red mark.

I re-read these posts for you before I post, but I am not spell checking.  This is me without the filter.  When the filter is on all the time I forget who I am.  I forget how close to the edge I live.  I get into my safe middle class life where I don't have to think about things to hard.

I get yanked out of it whenever I take the wrong bus because it had the same number in it as the right bus.  Everytime I go to a library and try to find something I really want only to find I am in the wrong section all together.  When I go to wait in line with a number and miss my turn because I read the number wrong.

These things scare me.  But they push me to remember how lucky I am and not to get too arrogant about where I am, the line between my being able to get through school and have a good job and somebody else who never got that chance because they did not have the support they needed or because they were seen as just stupid and not someone who should be helped. 

While I ask "why me?" a lot, I am trying to ask "why not me?" more often and just be really greatful for what I do have.