Thursday, October 29, 2015

Birds of sadness

Fernando Vicente:
Fernando Vicente
Went to Kumik lodge today at lunch.  I like coming back afterward smelling like smudge.  I can carry that with me all day.  Today the Elder spoke about her joy in getting a pipe and pipe teachings.  She was still overcome with emotion about this gift.  At first as I sat there I was a little frustrated.  I came for teachings, not to listen to someone talk about the good thing that happened in their life.  But of course, that is the teaching.  Sometimes it is not about you and someone else's joy can be yours.

Nicole Eisenman, "Coping":
Nicole Eisenman, "Coping"
Also thinking about this quote and a very similar story someone told me this week - from "Looking at Mindfulness" where the author quotes a Chinese proverb "You can't prevent the birds of sadness from flying over your heads, but don't let them nest in your hair."  I have been trying this week to let go of a particular expectation that I have that I know will never be met, but which makes me sad.  I am doing this by trying to accept that need won't be met and let my expectations about it go.  At this point I am the only one it is making sad.

I am also being thankful for the old medicines.  While my mooshum (grandfather) never did "Métis stuff" I see lots of that life in retrospect.  For example, whenever you start getting sick you need to sweat.  So often I find that this quiet time under the blankets is enough to push off a bad illness.  I treasure these bits on culture that I can identify and reclaim.
So lots to learn, but feeling a bit like this picture, still tired and a little sick, but not too much I can really complain about cause I smell like sage and the sun is out.

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