Monday, June 1, 2015

Three dads and other uncomfortable family problems

We have been watching "The Flash" recently and while we are still out on whether the foster dad is a magic negro I am now trying to think through the three dads in the show.  The Flash has his biological dad in jail who is unwaveringly supportive but cannot touch the Flash. There is his foster dad who is physically there for him and provides wise advice and sage judgment.  Finally there is the Dr, who is possibly evil and is physically distant but who is pushing the Flash to be a better version of himself (possibly for evil reasons but still....)
So the three dads got me thinking last night, in an age where many of us did not have a dad, either because they were physically or emotionally distant, is the ultimate fantasy.  Three dads - one for every mood and need in life.  I am also wondering if there is a Trinity thing going on with the distant father in the sky, the loving father and the unknowable mystical father?  This got me thinking some more about dads and family.

I grew up in the church and we were to trust in god like a loving father, but I had one emotionally abusive present dad and one absent dad.  I am also trying to work through the same thing in terms of my relationship to "mother earth".  In general, relations are not positive things in my life.  I am trying to reclaim there terms for myself but it is hard sometimes when these fundamental archetypes have been perverted.  My mother is not a loving person.  She is a narcissist locked in her own head.  I know that these are legacies of the damage done to our people, of the residential schools, the destruction of culture and all the lies.  Knowing the why doesn't make the reality any easier.

So, how do we reclaim these fundamental relationships to build something healthy for our children?  How do we find our connections when these archetypes are problematic?  How do we rebuild?

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